Memories of a different world
by lelak541
Summary: Lisanna and Pantherlily talk about Edolas and how they feel about it. I am not good at summaries...


**Ok,** **I don't know what the point or this story is** **... I guess I just wanted to get some of the Edolas stories out of my head. This will have a few of my personal headcanons like Lisanna having PTSD and her and Lily not liking each other. Or that Edolas is different from Earthland in the fact that Edolas has more serous consicvences.**

Warning **: This cotains metions of corpses, killing, executions but nothing too graphic. It's spoiler-ish for the end of the manga, so be catious of that. Also, English is not my first language and this was written on my phone.**

Disclaimer **: I do not own Fairy Tail nor it's characters.**

 **xxxx**

Lisanna put her hand to her chest in relief. She took a deep breath and let it out again. _'Finally, I can breathe.'_ Her heart was calming down as well as her nervs. She looked at the sky. The stars were shining brightly. It was a wonderful night. Zeref and Aconologia were beaten, the _'war'_ was over and Fairy Tail didn't lose that much. There weren't even civilian casulties. It seemed _unreal_ to her.

"Is there a lot of work?" Lisanna jumped a little, she didn't even realize that there was someone else on the balcony. Why would there? Everybody should be in the castle, celebrating.

She turned to see Pather Lily siting on the stone railing, holding a mug of beer that was bigger than his body.

"What do you expect, _Commander_?" She said in a mocking tone. "It **_is_** the biggest party of the century, maybe even in a millenia." That wasn't an exaggeration.

Half of Fiore was in Crocus celebrating the win against Aconologia. There was free alcohol, music and a lot to eat. Even now, in the middle of the night, you can hear the festivities going on in the town. Well, you could if it weren't for the guilds inside the castle. Everybody who fought in the _'war'_ was there, even Jellal and his group. **_But_** , the biggest suprise was that some of the Spriggan 12 were there. Lisanna, like a lot of people, wasn't sure why, but they **_were_** great at entertaining people.

Exactly because of this great number of people, the castle maids couldn't handle everything and the waitresses and barmaids from the guilds needed to help them. Of course, that included Mirajane and Lisanna. To Lisannas disliking. She would have rather not seen all the familiar faces from Edolas. Some of them she met on jobs. Some of them she only heard about. Some of the she fought against, with some of them she fought together. Some she considered good friends...

A lot of them died in front of her.

Mostly, they died on battlefields as heroes for Edo Fairy tail, and terrorists to the Kingdom of Edolas. On rare occasions Edo Fairy Tail needed to hold hostage a few soldiers, on even rarer occasions, kill them. Lisanna wasn't proud of that, she didn't even want to do it, so she left it mostly to her friends. However it was necessary for her and the people she considered family to survive. She knew it was wrong but that's how Edolas worked. Kill or be killed.

She often told herself that killing them was at least a lot better than what the Kingdom did to the ones they caught. Lisanna can still remember the torture she received when they captured her. Luckly, she managed to escape after a week or two(thanks to a person she doesn't want to remember or see ever again). Time does get messed up when you are being tortured everyday without much to eat, or water. It felt like months to her.

She also remembers the first time she felt powerless and useless, feelings that she has grown used to by now. It was the first time she saw a public execution. The person, who they called a _'war criminal'_ , was most likely a person who protected their village, city or even kingdom that was conquered before Lisanna came to Edolas. He looked malnourished enough to have been in prison for years. The screams of joy when they hung him and the sickness that overcome her when she saw the corpse hunted her nightmares for weeks.

As badly as this may sound, she got used to it. Public execution were pretty common all around the Edolas Kingdom. Those which weren't as heavily guarded were often stopped by Edo Fairy Tail. And those rescue missions were mostly succesfull, unless Knightwalker or one of the other **_stronger_** soldiers showed up.

Lisanna hates those memories, but she can't help remembering them when she is serving those very same people. For her, this celebration is hell. Everywhere she looked she saw people who died and their deaths weren't pretty. She still barely manages to look at master Makarov or the Thunder God Tribe without seeing their counterparts death, and these are the people she spends the most time with, after her siblisings. At least in the previous banquets she didn't need to interact with them. Now, she was their weitress and she couldn't handle it. The moment the flashbacks became too much she told Mira that she is taking a break and sprinted to the balcony.

"What are you doing here alone? Shouldn't you be with Gajeel, Levy or the other exceeds?" Lisanna asked. She wasn't exactly in the mood to talk to one of her biggest foes in Edolas. Even after all this time, they didn't trust each other one bit. While Natsu and others were talking to the exceeds right after they got back from Edolas, Lisanna and Pather Lily made an agreement to act as if they didn't know each other. They can't believe that people didn't figured it out, espacially since Lisanna's acting was awful. Nobody seemed to notice that they try to get out of their way to avoid each other or that they mostly ignore the other when paired up in the same group.

"Presumebly, the same as you, Lis." That was another point, when they needed to talk alone, they never used each others name. Lisanna was _'Lis'_ , since that was Knightwalkers way of mocking _The little princess'_ and Lilly was _'Commander'_ because back in Edolas he was the _'Royal Military Commander of the First Warfare Division'_. The names helped to remember their previous status and why they didn't like each other. It was a miracle that none of the Dragon slayers heard that, or if they did, they didn't comment on it.

"Trying to avoid any body who I have killed, tortured or helped guard their execution. And, if I might add, it worked until I you came here." Now that Lisanna was there on the balcony with him, Lily was seeing someone he toruted and killed. Well, helped killing. He was there on the faithful day Edo Lisanna died, but it was Knightwalker who pushed her of the cliff. However, he did torture this Lisanna. That was one of the reasons she didn't like him, other reasons are the big number of people Lily helped to kill, and since he was a warfare commander he was always guarding the _'war criminals'_.

"Besides, Gajeel is telling everybody about the baby and I'm quite sure he is going to start singing soon." Lilly only side glanced at Lisanna, who was making herself comfrotable by puting her elbows on the railing and supproting her head, looking at the stars.

"Well then, RIP to every Dragon slayer, since, apparently, the castle has the best sound aplifire magic in whole Fiore." Lisanna expression changed to a sad smile. "It's nice to hear that he isn't that much different than his counterpart." She stopped for a few seconds.

"I still remember when Levy said yes to the proposal" She snickered. "Every part of Edolas knew about the wedding." She started to laugh. For all the bad memories from Edolas, there were a lot of great and funny ones as well.

"That was a rather dumb move. If he hadn't done that, Erza wouldn't have ruined the wedding." Lilys voice was cold but it had curious undertone when he asked: "According to her, Levy had an beatiful wedding dress. How and when did she get that?"

"Would you belive me if I tell you that me, Levy and Wendy put sunglases and wigs on and went to Royal City to buy it?" Her laugh was even louder now.

"That sounds like something that would work in Earthland but not in Edolas. You want me to believe you risked so much just for a wedding that was doomed from the start." Lily deadpanned.

"Yup." She popped the 'p'. "Ah, well. In the end they decided to marry when they are in their late 20s or when the war is over. Whatever happened first. Nobody guessed it would be the 2nd option." Her smile died down and they stopped talking for a few minutes.

"It was strawbarry." Lisanna said out of nowhere.

"What?"

"The wedding cake that we launched at Knightwalker to escape. It was strawbarry cake."

"Now that you mention it, I was wondering why she didn't want any cake that evening. I'm pretty sure you ruined strawbarry cake for her." He took a sip from his beer.

"The irony is that Erza **SCARLET** ** _loves_** strawbarry cake."

Lily smirked. "You know, Erza and I often wondered how did you guys come up with those technics. Some of them were rather humoruos." _'When they didn't happen to me.'_ He added mentaly.

"Secret." Lisanna had a big, proud smile on her face while Lily just rolled his eyes.

At that moment they heard cheering and laughter from behind them followed by "Hey weitress... hic... hic... bring... hic... sake!", "Eeeh, don't you think you had enough." And "Wah, I'm on fire! HELP!!!", "COLD! COLD! COLD!" And of course " Why are you guys stripping?!", "I'm drowning!", "WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT BROOM, MAX?!"

Lisanna was confused by the last line. Lily, on the other hand, had an expression that cleary showed his discomfront since the begining of the laughter. That was the moment Lisanna realized the problem.

"You are not used to people cheering and having wining parties after wars." This time Lily looked at her. "What's wrong, Commander? Does war not have the same feel to it when there are no real casulties or if they aren't any tortures and executions to do afterwords?" Lisanna had a mocking tone in her voice but her expression said that she was seriously interestead in the answer.

"I don't know, Lis." Lily sighed. He sounded defeated. That took Lisanna by suprise. "Even tough I didn't want casulties, I expected them. And I hated the executions and torture but..." another sigh "...those things made me hate wars. This was a war with the king of another country but both countries are still intact. This didn't feel like war. And It's not just about this...this _'war'. Everything_ in Earthland feels like this..." he sighed for the third time "... I don't know how to describe it."

"Unreal, fantasy world that always ends in a _'happy ending'_ that could only happen in books or fairytales?" Lisanna added.

"Yes. How did you...?" He tought about it for second "You feel the same way. Don't you?" Lisanna nodded. "For how long did you feel this way?"

Lisanna didn't answer immediatly. She looked at her hands which were on the cold stone railing. After a few seconds she looked at the stars. "Back in Edolas, there a were few times I woke up and tought that I am Edolas Lisanna. I tought that maybe I just had weird amnesia, cliché, isn't it? I tought that it was imposible that a world like Earthland, were everything was just like a dream, existed. But then I would remember why me and my siblisings got to Fairy Tail and I would remember Gray's backstory, and I would know that this world was real... but those memories were fading and in the end I tought that I just dreamed everything that happened in this world... until Natsu and Happy came to Edolas." With every word her voice shaked more and her expression became sadder. "Even if I was born in this world, even if I live in this world. **_Even_** if I can feel and see the magic around me I still think this is just a dream and I will wake up someday and be back to Edolas."

Then there were just silent sobs.

"Sorry. I kind of..." She couldn't finish the sentence.

"No, it's fine. I should apologize, I asked you a personal question. But, you are the only one I could ask such questions. Nobody here lived in Edolas like we did. Even the exceeds had different lifes than us." Lilly explained.

"Now that you mention them, how are they? Did they find their children?" Lisanna tried to change the subject.

"Most of them did. They settled in pretty well."

"What about you and the queen? When are you guys gonna tell your child the truth?"

"I do not plan to tell her that I'm her father. It would be weird between us. Besides we both know all to well how a child I raise turns out." Both cringed at that statement. Lisanna, not wanting to remember any of that, decided it would be best to leave it alone.

For a few minutes, there was just an akward silence.

"I miss it." Two voices decided to brake the silence.

They looked at each other. Lily, wanting to have a conversation like this for years, asked "What do you miss?"

"A lot of stuff. Juvi-chan, for example, was my best friend, I miss telling her everything, training with her, and trying to make her laugh. I only managed to get a small smile from her. I miss Sting's endless positivity and the way he always fall flat onto his face." That got a laugh out of Lily "And Rouge's weird invetions, which always work out in the end. I miss how every small victory was celebrated as if we won the war. Let's not forget the balls of peace and the festivals, the songs wich were sung in the old language, the stories and legends with bitter sweet endings..." Lisanna continued, while Lily just sat there, listening to all the stuff he misses as well, even giving his own input and story.

Often, when he would see a lot of familiar faces, Lily would feel homesick. The worst part is that he never had anybody he could talk to. Nobody in Earthland would understand his feelings. No one would understand how it is to have lived in two seperate worlds and to never be able to return to one of them. Well, besides Lisanna. The girl who he hunted and fought many times. The girl he tortured for two weeks, giving her only enough food and water to survive. The girl he broke.

If somebody would come to the balcony, that person would think to these two were life long friends exchanging stories. But in reallity they are two enemies who try to cope with homesickness and traumas.

By the time Mira came to ask her sister for help, the two felt light. All the things they kept to themselves were out in the open. However, even if they appriciate the fact that they have found a person to talk to, the past hasn't changed. There are still grudges and dislike between them. And they will hold on to that, no matter what happens.

"Let's talk again soon, Lis."

"Sure thing, Commander" and with Lisanna was gone. Helping her sister, while trying to avoid every familiar face.

 **xxx**

 **So yeah, I have bunch of different headcanons, one shots and stories about Edolas in my head(all in the same continuety), they range from harmles fun and comedy to emotinal and messed up. If people want me to I might make a series.**


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